A man who could not marry off his ugly daughter visited Rabbi Shimmel of Krakow. "My heart is heavy, " he told the Rev, "because God has given me an ugly daughter."
"How ugly?" the Seer asked.
"If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
The Seer of Krakow thought for a long time and finally asked, "What kind of herring?"
The man, taken aback by the query, thought quickly and said, "Er---Bismarck."
"Too bad," the Rabbi said. "If it was matjes she'd have a better chance."

Woody Allen, Hassidic Tales, with a Guide to Their Interpretation